Slowing the Cycle

At this month’s Sacred Shift Energy Circle, we focused on recognizing personal patterns and cycles. We explored how they form, when they show up emotionally, physically, and energetically, and how easily they can repeat without our awareness. 

Personal patterns aren't problems to be fixed. They are habits; protective loops that no longer serve and can gently be softened.

Personal Patterns And How Awareness Begins to Break the Cycle

As our subtle body processes information, we all naturally form energetic, emotional, and physical responses to what we are receiving. When energy gets stuck, our nervous system kicks in, creating a protective reaction to avoid potential harm. Over time, these responses become repetitive patterns. We begin  to form loops and cycles that ignite automatically, running quietly in the background, shaping how we react, relate, and move through the world. By recognizing what repeats and accepting with grace, we are able to begin the work of creating space to soften our own personal cycles.

Space To Go Deeper

On Wed, January 28 our Sacred Support family will meet online at 6pm to explore our own personal patterns more deeply. This is an opportunity to recognize cycles that you have formed and, with acceptance, begin the work to release what no longer serves you. 

You do not need to have attended Sacred Shift to join. This space is open to anyone who wants to tap into their own personal loops, understand how they formed, and begin gently softening them in a supported environment. If you are feeling called to begin releasing your patterns that no longer serve, you are warmly invited to join.

Register for Sacred Support

See also:

Craving Certainty: How the Illusion of Control Keeps Us Stuck

Where Would You Like to go From Here?

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A Guided Meditation for Letting Go and Entering the New Year

The start of a new year often carries quiet pressure. To feel different. To do better. To leave parts of ourselves behind without fully understanding what we are carrying forward. At Dono Bella, we believe new beginnings begin gently, not forcefully.

This guided meditation was recorded live during our New Year’s Eve Sacred Shift event, a gathering created to honor endings, release emotional weight, and open space for what wants to emerge next. Rather than rushing into intention setting or goal making, we began with stillness.

This meditation is especially supportive for beginners. It offers simple guidance, slow pacing, and space to breathe without expectation.

Why Letting Go Matters at the Start of a New Year

Letting go is often misunderstood. It is not about erasing the past or bypassing difficult experiences. It is about loosening the grip on what no longer needs to be held so tightly.

As one year ends and another begins, many people carry unseen weight. Old narratives. Emotional fatigue. Unprocessed transitions. This guided meditation was created to help release that heaviness in a way that feels safe and grounded.

Instead of pushing forward, the practice invites you to pause. To notice what feels heavy. To allow your body and nervous system to soften before stepping into something new.

Instead of pushing forward, the practice invites you to pause. To notice what feels heavy. To allow your body and nervous system to soften before stepping into something new.

How to Use This Meditation

You may listen seated or lying down. Eyes open or closed. Once or repeatedly. Many people return to this meditation throughout the year whenever they feel the pull to reset and soften.

If this is your first guided meditation, allow yourself to approach it without expectation. You do not need to clear your mind. You only need to be willing to pause.

Entering the New Year with Intention and Ease

New beginnings do not require force. They require honesty, compassion, and space. This meditation is an invitation to begin again without abandoning yourself in the process.

If this practice resonates with you and you are curious about deeper support, you are warmly invited to explore a free intro session. Dono Bella offers Reiki, holistic coaching, and community gatherings for women navigating change, transition, and emotional realignment.

Sometimes the most powerful shift begins by simply letting go.

About the Sacred Shift New Year’s Eve Event

Sacred Shift is a Dono Bella offering designed to mark moments of transition with intention and care. The New Year’s Eve gathering brought people together in community to reflect, release, and realign before crossing into a new chapter.

During the live event, participants were invited to lie down and rest while the meditation was read aloud. The focus was not performance, but presence. The energy of a shared space, held gently, created a sense of safety that carries through the recording.

What you are watching is real. A moment of collective exhale.

What This Guided Meditation Supports

• Emotionally weighed down
• Mentally cluttered
• Unsure what you are ready to release
• Curious about meditation but unsure where to start
• In transition and seeking clarity without pressure

See also:

Guided Meditation for Letting Go and New Beginnings: New Year Sacred Shift

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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

Brené Brown

Releasing Identity Roles and Remembering Who You Are Beneath Them

Many of the women whom I have spoken with recently carry a common emotional burden. They are living inside self-made containers built from titles: Girlfriend, Mother, Boss, Wife, Daughter. These roles matter, but unnoticed, they can become the primary lens through which we see and identify ourselves. The constraints of our containers limit our expression, our creativity, and how we perceive our own abilities and value. And when multiple roles conflict, which they often do, our vibrational energy, self-esteem, and physical and emotional well being suffer. 

These roles matter, but unnoticed, they can become the primary lens through which we see and identify ourselves.

Remembering Who You Are Beyond Labels

As winter deepens and days grow shorter, we are given an opportunity to slow down and look inward. We are gifted with time to notice the narratives we carry and the identities that we embody. I invite you to step outside of your containers. Take a deep breath and see the radiant self trapped inside of your labels. Let yourself feel the fullness of who you are, not limited by what you do. Remember that you are not defined by roles or responsibilities, and let your light shine.

Releasing Identity Roles to Slow Down to Listen Inward

Releasing identity roles is not about losing who you are, it is about remembering yourself beneath the labels. When you loosen the grip of expectations and titles, space opens for emotional clarity, energetic balance, and authentic self connection. By slowing down and listening inward, you allow yourself to step beyond what you do and reconnect with who you truly are. This is where healing begins, in the quiet return to your own light.

See also:

Looking For Helpers: Finding Support When You Feel Alone

Experience a Sacred Shift Energy Circle

A guided experience for women ready to release old patterns, realign their energy, and step gently into their next chapter.

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John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s research on our relationships, behaviors, and the types of attachments that we form is fascinating and illuminating. It’s also built on theories. And the thing with theories is that they are just human ideas. They can be exciting, testable, and enlightening, but still human ideas. And the trouble with our human ideas is that we have a habit of fanatically attaching to them. We even did it with attachment theory itself. We introduced a theory, expanded into types, figured out some healthy and unhealthy habits. Great work! That should be it, right?

Unfortunately, we humans tend to dislike stopping at simple and logical great work. We complicate it, creating rules and behaviors that must be committed to so that we can avoid conflict or pain. We write and read instructional books, listen to interviews, scan social media outlets, scour blog posts, and take to the Google! What was made from love, community, and curiosity often falls victim to fear, division, and confusion.

Okay, just follow me here for a minute. You’re floating in a warm pool of water on a beautiful sunny day. Everything about you is the perfect temperature. There are a few ripples that set you slightly off balance and a cloud or two may pass over quickly but overall, you are completely content. Then you get this idea. You think “Hey, if I just do this thing, maybe I can be even happier.” So, you tie this idea to your toe, you attach it to you. To your delight, it floats! Now your foot is just a little higher, a little warmer and you like the sensation. So, you tie the same idea to your other toe, but now it feels off balance. To get back in balance, you come up with a whole new idea and tie it to your hand and this continues for some time. Ideas, thoughts, emotions, relationships, identities all attached to a string, then attached to your body. Those you would call a success float and bring you a little higher. The things you would call failure have weight and pull you under a bit. After a while, you find yourself tethered to a great number of strings, half in and half out of the water. The hazy memory of your earlier contentment is rewritten and your fear of cutting the wrong strings and getting pulled under is overwhelming your trust that you were fine without all these attachments.

I think many of us find ourselves in this place today. It’s a form of identity foreclosure that we create over a lifetime. Whatever we created in our lives, or whatever is created for us is so tightly wound around us that it becomes a part of who we are. We can’t tell the weights from the weightless and we’re scared to let go of anything or create anything new so we become stagnant and defensive. Think of how hard we defend our preferred sports teams, our alma maters, political affiliation, or any form of idea or identity that we have created. It’s a lot of strings.

So, in the spirit of the first week of Spring, let’s start pruning. Start snipping every single string, the weights and the weightless equally. Let your perceived failures fall to the bottom of the pool. Sure, they’re still there but they won’t pull you down. And your greatest accomplishments and ideas can float along side you. They’re not going anywhere; this is your pool. And you no longer need to defend any ideas or identities because they’re no longer attached to you. They’re just there for your own admiration and inspiration. Follow Bowlby and Ainsley’s great and simple early advice. Give yourself enough space to learn and create, with a safe and supportive home base. Then, just take a deep breath, let the sun shine on your face, and watch yourself grow!

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As I’ve mentioned before, our perspective frequently governs and ignites our feelings of failure. We tend to set stringent goals for ourselves, focusing more on the measurable results than the meaning behind our aspirations. Striving for perfection or instant achievement diminishes not only our accomplishments but also the meaning in our work. This formula essentially sets us up for what we consider failure. Practice makes purpose, not perfect. That purpose should be our focus, not just the tangible result. The greater the meaning behind our aspiration, the more motivated we are to persevere, no matter the size of the challenge.

Neurologist and psychologist, Viktor Frankl endured unimaginable circumstances during his time in a Nazi concentration camp. While imprisoned he observed that without intrinsic and authentic purpose, we all have the potential to become apathetic and disillusioned. We give up easier and are less satisfied, even when attaining our goals. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Dr. Frankl attributes his survival to his focus on his life’s purpose and will, his internal freedom, and the meaning in his work. After he was released, he used this knowledge to heal and empower others on their journeys. He applied his experience and the tools that he had witnessed to help others, ascending from suffering, and creating something beautiful.

Butterflies typically live for only eight weeks. In under three months, this small creature undergoes measurable, yes, but miraculous transformation. I’m not a lepidopterist (It’s a thing… I’ll wait while you google…) but I’m willing to wager that a monarch’s egg isn’t nestled in milkweed groaning about how it can’t wait to eat its shell. Caterpillars don’t give up halfway through a leaf because it’s just too hard to chew, harshly chastising themselves for not having hatched earlier or dreaming about restful days as a larva. It’s unlikely that they’re checking their little caterpillar watches, tapping their little caterpillar leg, bored after three days in a chrysalis.

The average human lifespan is more than 3,700 weeks. That is more than 450 times that of the butterfly. Imagine what you can do with your time here if you begin to recognize the miracle of your own life and focus on your purpose before perfectionism. Imagine what you can become and create if you pay more attention to the meaning of your work, the slow progress, and small successes instead of the setbacks and struggles. When we criticize or long for our past and set future ambitions with the expectation that only completion will bring us happiness, we are missing the point. We are missing our lives! We are overlooking the miracle of the moment that we are in right now. I’m not saying that goals can’t be good. In life and business, made with purpose and compassion, setting goals can be meaningful and motivating. So go ahead and set that target! And find what works to help you stay on track; small steps, greater convenience, or a partner to help you on your journey (wink.. wink). Just be mindful that the meaning remains more relevant than the measure. Stay supportive of yourself and connected to your highest intention, even on your dirty sweatpants days!

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Jesus wasn’t hustling for the most likes on social media. Buddha wasn’t focused on getting published. Muhammad wasn’t pushing for a sweet record deal. And if they had been, they would have missed the mark completely; way ahead of their times… but missing the mark. We often let our ego confuse goals with values and live in that place of achievement. Even happiness is a goal, not a value. When the likes are posted, words are read, and audience stops dancing, the emptiness returns. Goals are fleeting. Values are forever; fluid but forever. They can be a haven, awaiting our return time and again: integrity, honesty, respect, or community. Our greatest accomplishments will be the how, why, and what of our own creations. What we get out of it is just icing on the awesome cake.

Keeping our eyes on the prize blinds us to the treasures waiting to be gathered along the way. We’ll miss the beauty, the relationships, and the lessons that we will need when we finally reach our target. Without all of those things, the proverbial prize will fall short, and we will be left disappointed, resentful, and ravenous for a new aspiration. Emerson was right, it really is about the journey. No matter how beautiful the destination, you’re not going to appreciate it if you’re a haggard hot mess completely unprepared to be there.

Before we put a price tag on the things that we want in our lives, we need to redefine our values. Living a life committed to our deepest and most authentic ideals will open us to the life that we are here to live. Our purpose is our true source of sustainable joy. When we live in line with our values, we discover that purpose and the world opens up for us. And the best part is, we don’t need millions of startup dollars or a GPS to get there. We just need to listen, truly listen, to our own unique voice and tap into our core values. Let those be our guide. So if you’re a maker of annual promises, this year try resolving to getting to know yourself better. Peel through the layers of influence and find out who you are under there. Once you’re well acquainted, you can start setting goals with your heart, not your ego. Don’t keep your life waiting. Don’t keep this world waiting; it needs you. So find that switch, turn on your love light, and let it shine!

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In my own life I try to find moments like these on a regular basis, but instead of chirping “Delight!” (which I sometimes do since hearing Ross Gay’s interview), I simply smile with gratitude and acknowledgement. My aptitude for appreciation isn’t because I’m naturally a thankful person. It’s a habit that I have developed over time because research and experience have taught me it’s healthy and actually pretty fun.  We all have these moments; finding money in a pocket of pants you haven’t worn in a season, a bird landing outside of an open window during a boring meeting, a large gust of wind or butterfly when you think of a loved one who has passed, or a ladybug landing on you. Small joys are all around us and can always be found when we need them the most, as long as we are open to receiving them.

Unfortunately, we humans have cultivated a cultural faux pas that often gets in the way of our appreciating life’s sweet little moments. We’ve made a habit of mistaking cynicism for common sense. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard someone say “Well, yeah, if you’re looking for a sign you’ll probably find it.” As if looking for it negates the validity of the moment in any way. If you’re looking for your glasses and find them on top of your head, does that make them any less your glasses? Um… No. Cynicism negatively affects us morally, emotionally, socially, and even physically. Whereas gratitude positively affects us in all of these areas.

So, seriously, which makes more sense; purposefully looking for and appreciating gifts from the universe or writing off the gifts as nonsense to feed egotistical intelligence? I mean… I’m just saying. So why not try it?! If we allow ourselves quiet moments in the midst of the madness, we will undoubtedly find at least one reason to be grateful each day. Chirp a quick “delight!” when the rain stops long enough for you to get to your car. Laugh out loud when a bird drops some digested berries on your shoulder! Perspective can be stronger than profundity if you allow it. Jot down some of those moments each night to experience even more benefits. Once a routine is created in which you are purposefully looking for something that makes you smile, things that make you smile begin to appear. It’s almost as if they are looking for you. It will seem as if the universe is conspiring in your favor and putting things directly in front of you as a private moment of joy for just the two of you to share! (Pssst… little secret… it totally is!). As with any practice, the purpose is… well.. practice. So remember to be kind to yourself and be patient. Some days will be more challenging than others to find a moment of thankfulness, but you can do hard things. If you commit and continue to savor small moments of joy each day, I guarantee you will be grateful that you did!

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Life is always balancing and later that same week I had a stranger tell me how interested she is in Reiki.  This person lit up with excitement when she heard that I was a practitioner and asked me to explain what Reiki is.  A few days later, someone I had known for years asked me the same question.  Both people received my standard, equally automatic reply “It’s an ancient Japanese technique designed to work with the recipient’s energy body to allow them to get into a state of relaxation that will permit the body to naturally heal itself.” (Insert crickets here)

After these encounters, I realized that this amazing gift that I have been blessed enough to discover, study, and share is getting as much affection and enthusiasm from me as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Maybe less because I’m a big peanut butter fan!  And while I fancy myself a teacher, and am well known as a talker, I shy away from sharing information about something that I would easily list in my top 5 greatest joys.  I mean, what’s up with that?! So, for the love of Reiki and all who are curious, I’ll give a bit more detail here.

Reiki (pronounced Ray Key) was discovered by Japanese Dr. Mikao Usui in the early 1920s.  Made up of two Japanese characters or words, Reiki translates to universal or vital (Rei) life force or energy (ki).  While some people will refer to it as “love energy” or “God energy”, this is literally the energy that flows through all living things.  The practitioner (that’s me) acts as a channel of Reiki energy.  I offer Reiki to my clients by gently laying hands on them and allowing Reiki to flow through me (the practitioner) to work for their highest healing and greatest good (my intention).  Recipients remain fully clothed (less shoes and maybe belt or constricting items) and typically experience a sense of deep relaxation.  Often, I find my clients fall asleep during sessions.  It is a simple form of intuitive energy healing.

Okay, hippy girl, how does it work?  Well, how does your radio work?  Your television?  Light and vibration.  We have these five senses that we rely on constantly, right?  Take vision.  All light is made of electromagnetic waves vibrating at different frequencies.  (So is matter, for that matter… See what I did there?  Matter/matter… Sigh… anyway…).  The spectrum of light that people see is red to violet.  Thanks to physics, we know that there is also infinite light beyond that spectrum; infrared and ultraviolet.  We cannot see these, but we do use them for practical purposes such as heating food, taking pictures, and changing channels on a television.  If we are willing to accept that there is light and vibration that we cannot see, meaning accept the laws of physics, then why so skeptical to accept that they may work for a higher purpose than to heat up our leftovers?

Want proof?  “Proven” is for sales and pudding and neither have ever really been my thing.  Scientific research is though and there have been several empirical studies that show that Reiki is effective for pain reduction, anxiety and depression relief, and overall physical, spiritual and emotional well being for people of all ages.  On its own or complementary to medical treatment, Reiki just rocks!  Technical term there. 

However, as stated earlier, I’m into transformation not conversion, so if Reiki isn’t your thing, so be it.  Massages aren’t for people with haphephobia, and bacon cheeseburgers aren’t for vegetarians.  For your own sake though, don’t just dismiss it or anything else based on lack of knowledge, fear, or someone else’s opinion.  Be it Reiki, meditation, juicing, juggling, gratitude journal or a new exercise routine be open to stepping into something new or at least learning more about it. Any healthy, positive practice that serves you will raise your vibration which serves us all. I can tell you from experience, even the things which we mock the most have the potential to become the things that we cherish if we’re willing to open our hearts and our minds. And when you do find something new that you love, don’t be too shy to share it. Stand on your soapbox of discovery and let that love light shine!

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