What if the problem isn’t how much there is to do, but the way we’re looking at everything that needs to be done? One shirt, one phone call, one breath at a time.
“You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
The Problem Is Not the Pile
My maternal grandmother’s sister had seven children. Every week, she would wash, dry, iron, and fold all of their clothes, along with her own and presumably her husband’s. I live in a house with two children. Every week their clothes, and mine, are washed, dried, and left to live in three crumpled heaps for days, until chosen to be worn again or, eventually, dumped on a bed, half folded and put away on the next laundry day, only for fear that the pile will grow.
I don’t remember my aunt although I believe I met her when I was young. Still, she’s a strong female influence in my life because of one bit of advice that she had passed down through our family. When asked how she could stand it, how she could spend all of that time and effort every week at such a monotonous and overwhelming task, she said that she didn’t ever look at the basket. She stood at the ironing board, leaned down without looking, and took out one article of clothing at a time until the basket was empty.
More often than we would like, our lives resemble that laundry basket. The tasks and to-do lists seem endless and tedious. And, like my own baskets at home, the work only grows if we allow ourselves to become distracted. Even if we don’t, it’s as if we can see the list growing, no matter how hard we are trying to get everything done.
And here is why I love my aunt’s advice. Because maybe it’s not the size of the pile that’s the problem. Maybe the issue is the way that we are looking at it.
The Catch Up Spiral
About a week ago, I found myself having this exact perspective problem. August was a whirlwind month of birthdays, vacations, family, work, schedules, school prep and all the big and little things that make time seem so scarce. The first week of September was a wave of reality that nearly knocked me off of my feet. The realization of how far behind I had fallen at home, at work, at being present with myself and my kids was overwhelming. I needed to catch up, but all I could see was the giant basket.
My mind would race from one unfinished thing to another. The more that I thought about it, the more I would feel overwhelmed. The more overwhelmed I became, the less motivated I became to start anything, let alone finish something. And the self-talk of shame spiral… hoooo doggy, was I getting mean! It seemed impossible to just reach down and grab anything out of the basket to get started.
Until one day, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and I grabbed the first proverbial shirt.
The Ketchup Effect
There is an urgency built into the phrase “catch up”. It sounds like movement, but carries a required rush. But speed isn’t necessarily movement. In fact, much like its condiment counterpart, the harder we push to catch up, the more mess we often make. We scramble and make mistakes, become more frantic, and achieve more chaos than completion. But if we take our time and trust the process, things go much more smoothly.
Look Away From the Basket
So in honor of Aunt Catherine, and of the spirit inside of you, I invite you, dear friend, to look away from your to-do list, look away from the basket, even if just for a moment. And, with trust in your heart, reach down and start with one thing.
One shirt.
One phone call.
One short walk.
One email.
One word.
One breath.
Then, when that one is completed, when you are finished with the first, reach for the next. Do your work with purpose. With patience and presence. The basket may not be empty for some time, but you don’t have to carry the whole thing with you everywhere you go.
Need a Little Clarity?
Feel free to reach out below and ask whatever is on your mind.
