Why do we criticize people for changing while secretly fearing change ourselves? This reflection explores the myth of “selling out,” the discomfort of personal evolution, and what other people’s transformations can teach us about our own.
Celebrity Confession
One of the benefits of being overly self-aware is that I get to enjoy all of the ways in which I completely contradict myself. I preach self-acceptance, practice perfectionism. I hug trees and waste paper. I wholeheartedly believe in nonviolence, but can occasionally be heard saying “Oh, I’ll cut a…”. Ahem. Anyway…
Another fun area of my personal contradictions is celebrity. I know nothing of, and really care nothing for, celebrities. There are some people that I admire by reputation, but I don’t pretend to know any of them. I don’t know anything about them. And I don’t care anything for them more than I would care for just any other human being. Who is married… Who is cheating… Who was rude or hard or easy to work with… Don’t know. Don’t care. However, I sometimes become irrationally irritated when a celebrity or a musician is mocked for “selling out”.
The idea of selling out is a concept that I’ve never really understood. The literal definition is to completely dispose of one’s goods, which, to me, seems like the purpose of entering into any profession. We tend to focus more on the notion of betraying one’s cause or associates for personal gain. We tend to assume we know the difference between a betrayal and a turning point, but history has a way of blurring that line.
Change simply isn’t possible if everything remains the same.
Betrayal or Turning Point
Steve Jobs had to give up his identity as the untouchable founder of Apple when fired from his position in 1985. This absence gave him the freedom of creativity and perspective that he later used to turn the same company into an empire. Michael Jordan’s return to basketball after taking a swing at baseball (pun completely intended) led to three championships, largely because of the new outlook that the break had given to him. Many Bob Dylan fans booed him and labeled him a traitor for picking up an electric guitar; a pivotal moment in music history.
Growth often requires the abandonment of ideals, identities, dreams, or definitions of success. Change simply isn’t possible if everything remains the same. And the trouble with judging someone else’s pivot is that we’re evaluating a chapter while they’re still writing the story. Maybe our time would be better spent evaluating ourselves. Maybe instead of asking why someone else is changing, we should ask why it bothers us. Why aren’t we?
Turning the Question Around
So here’s my challenge to you, dear friend. When you find yourself judging a stranger, family member, or friend for an unexpected pivot, turn inward.
Ask yourself if you are resisting your own growth because you’re afraid of what people will think?
Where are you holding onto a dream, a role, a title, a relationship, or a version of yourself simply because you’ve held it for so long?
The people we admire most are rarely the ones who never tried something new. They are the ones who were willing to evolve despite criticism, confusion, and uncertainty. They rewrote their stories, one chapter at a time. If you were guaranteed success, how would you rewrite yours?
Need a Little Clarity?
Feel free to reach out below and ask whatever is on your mind.
